


A Very McNamander Christmas

by robertstanion



Series: PEIPHQ Shenanigans [27]
Category: Hatchetfield Universe - Team StarKid
Genre: Christmas fic, Except George, First Christmas, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Joke Gifts, M/M, Non-binary character, adopted kids, and also black friday and hoco going on spotify, everyones gay, gay men having a crisis outside the lakeside mall, george is a straggot, have this masterpiece, in commemoration of tickle me wiggly being 2 today, mildly sexual jokes, non-verbal autistic character, straight person (complimentary), xander has powers au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:47:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28325553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robertstanion/pseuds/robertstanion
Summary: john and xander want to make phoenix and jasper's first christmas outside of the orphanage a good one. they need it to be perfect.
Relationships: John McNamara & Louisiana Hartford, The McNamander Family, Xander Lee/John McNamara
Series: PEIPHQ Shenanigans [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764349
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	A Very McNamander Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> uh cw: tickle-me wiggly
> 
> anyways merry holidays to those who celebrate !! uh, i'm sorry about the last scene but i'm really not. i hope you had a good day and if you didn't, i am so sorry :((((

It was John and Xander’s first Christmas with Jasper and Phoenix. The two kids hadn’t experienced a proper Christmas, especially Jasper who hadn’t had a home outside of the orphanage. So, this was a big deal, and the two soldiers wanted to make it extremely special. Memorable. For each other, they were relatively easy. They never got each other much. They didn’t need much, for they had each other. They got each other the seasonal mug, and the new sweater, but nothing could compare to the love that they offered each other.

They weren’t the most romantic couple. They never had been. When they’d started their relationship, their fear of attachment had been imminent to anyone who’d viewed them. They’d wanted more than to sit in a break room and have a conversation, yet they didn’t know how they could push past that stage. The barrier dissolved eventually, and they found each other walking beside each other, Xander’s arm often wrapped around John’s shoulders, and John would smile and walk alongside him. They smiled, and they became fairly more obvious as to who they were once John had come out. At the end of the day, they were them, and nothing could harm them.

They had their lows, and they had their highs. Their lows often came when Xander was hurting due to his powers, and it hurt John to see him in so much pain with the knowledge he couldn’t do anything. He wanted desperately to kiss the pain away, and he couldn’t. The most he could do was hold him gently under the covers, stroking his hair, kissing his forehead, pretending he couldn’t feel how scared Xander was as he lay helpless against his chest. He tried desperately to ignore the matter.

Then they adopted Jasper and Phoenix, and their lives changed. Preparing for the two kids had certainly been one of the best things to pull the two of them together. Seeing one another in old clothes that _certainly_ wasn’t their style just to paint the walls of the two rooms designated to the kids was enough. Chasing each other around, splattering each other with paint _also_ wasn’t usually their style, but they ended up laughing. They always did. Of course they did.

Seeing the two kids in real life put a different kind of perspective into their lives. They had to adjust to two traumatised kids entering their lives. This originally served as a problem for John, who had to juggle his PTSD as well as the kids’, while Xander had to keep his powers under control to ensure he didn’t frighten them…and originally, it wasn’t the _best_ environment. But, over the course of a few months, they began to learn more about the kids and what they were truly like. It took that little amount of time, but as soon as the bonds were secured, they were unbreakable.

But back to the point. Christmas was approaching, and rapidly, and the two men needed to go and grab the gifts for the kids…and John needed to get his gifts for Xander as well, but he didn’t need that. So, the two men sat in the JEIP, several bags in the back that would be made to fit in the car no matter what, and Xander parked. He shut the car off and looked towards The Lakeside Mall in front of them. “You got the list?” He asked, slipping his keys back into his pocket, and John nodded.

“You’re stressed, honey. You’ve got a digital copy on your iPhone.” John smiled, turning his head to face his husband, placing his hand on his shoulder. “Breathe, blue eyes.”

Xander turned his head to look at John, who was grinning. “Blue eyes?” He asked and shook his head. “Okay. Never mind, I get the reference.”

“Because of your powers, Firefly. Your eyes go all blue.”

“Darling, I’m highly aware of that fact, but I appreciate the reminder.” He said, going to get out of the car, suddenly being tugged back. The next thing he knew, John’s hands were cupping his face, pulling him into a kiss. Xander had to stifle a laugh, holding John’s waist gently, unbuckling him from his seat. It was Xander to pull away first, looking at him. “Let’s go make two kids very very happy.”

“Which two kids? _Ours,_ or Hartford and Slate?”

“Hartford may as well _be_ our daughter.” Xander teased, nudging his side, getting out of the car.

“Okay- no.” John began to get defensive, zipping up his jacket before climbing out of the car, rushing to Xander’s side, ensuring he couldn’t walk off without him. “I’m just her emotional support PEIP agent.”

“You’re her mentor. She’s seen you as her father figure for quite some time dear.”

“That’s…wait she does?” John asked, looking to Xander, who’d opened the back of the car, grabbing the bags. He hummed and nodded, locking the car up, before sliding his hand into John’s.

“Definitely.” He kissed John’s forehead and handed some of the bags to him. “So where exactly _are_ we going?”

“Jasper’s only a kid. He’s gonna want toys. Like…not the average kind of toys either. Phoenix wants clothes so we’ll have to…scour the scene, I guess.” John shrugged, walking off by Xander’s side. “And _I_ have to get something for Slate, for Hartford, for Schaffer, and also for…I don’t know, possibly a certain husband of mine?”

“Oh my god, expressing love in public? John, that’s homosexual behaviour.” Xander said, smiling down at him, receiving a nudge to the side from John that time. “Yeah, I deserved that.”

“Damn right, you cocky bastard.” John glared playfully up at him as they entered the store.

* * *

They filled up the contents of the bags in mass amounts. John had his own bags for Xander’s gifts _alone,_ not including what he’d gotten for his fellow agents closest to him. They walked back to the car, Xander grunting slightly out of stress as he struggled to get some of the bags back in the car. John placed his hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. “You’re stressing yourself out, Firefly. Deep breaths. We don’t _have_ to wrap them today.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” Xander’s teeth were grit, and his voice sounded slightly rougher than it usually did as he slammed the boot of the car down, sighing a sigh of relief.

John smiled at him, wrapping an arm around his waist, cuddling into him. “Come on. We’ve gotta get home. There’s only so much time I can trust Hartford and Slate with before they rain havoc on the house.”

“Isn’t the house _always_ chaotic, John?” Xander asked, looking down to him, and John shrugged.

“Typically, I’d say yes, but with _those_ two there?” John said and took Xander’s hand in his own, kissing his knuckles. “It’s gonna be more. So, I think we should head home. You’re tired.”

“I’m going straight back to bed when I’m home, are you alright with that?” Xander asked, heading back to the driver’s seat, and John nodded.

“You rest, I’ll wake you when dinner’s ready, okay?”

“Okay…I love you John.”

“I love you too, Xander.”

* * *

The days approaching Christmas seemed to speed by. Their lives became a flurry of Sellotape and wrapping paper as they approached ‘the day.’ They never had to do this much work in prior years, but then again, they were two household members short last year. This year was the best year, John had already decided. He couldn’t wait to see their faces. He truly couldn’t. Seeing Xander’s face on Christmas was always amazing, but it would never compare to that of a child’s. He’d always heard about it, from old friends, about how their kids’ eyes lit up and John _did_ find himself envious. Now there wasn’t any need. They had a family.

With the festive season approaching, the house began to buzz with excitement. The tree went up, and John ensured all gifts were hidden. Phoenix may not believe in Santa anymore, but it didn’t mean that Jasper didn’t. He’d do anything to keep the season lively for him. But, John did begin to notice, the young boy didn’t seem as excited as his sibling was. He was trying to keep himself cooped up in his room a lot more, which wasn’t like Jasper at all.

About the week before Christmas, Phoenix and Xander started to decorate the tree that they’d placed in their living room, and John had wanted to go see if Jasper had wanted to help. He gently tapped on Jasper’s bedroom door, and hearing a quiet squeak as a reply, he opened the door. He saw Jasper sitting on the floor, sitting by his suitcase that he’d bought into the house when he’d been adopted. John completely forgot about the suitcase, for Jasper hadn’t let him touch it when he’d moved in. It’d only been the duffel bag with his clothes in that he’d been allowed to touch. John walked in and knelt in front of him. “Jasper? Me, papa and Phoenix, we’re gonna decorate the tree. We wanted to know if you wanted to come help us?”

Jasper gave another squeak, tugging at the zipper on his suitcase, and John held out a hand to him. “Hey, hey…” he said softly, seeing the frustration in his son’s face. “Do you mind if _I_ have a go at trying to get it open?” He asked, the little boy reluctantly looking up. He pushed the suitcase towards John and the older man smiled. He gently tugged on the zipper, it slowly coming undone. Jasper immediately pulled the suitcase back, hiding it in a way. “Jasper?” John asked softly and looked at his son. “You don’t have to. You know that, right?”

Jasper nodded, pulling things out of the suitcase, before pushing it back under his bed. There was the small clinking of apparent objects, and John moved slightly closer to see a much smaller Christmas tree in front of Jasper, and in a zip-lock bag were several ornaments, many hand crafted. Jasper reached inside the bag and pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen, beginning to scribble some words down, before sliding it over to John.

John read it, smiling gently as he did so. “ _Tradishun. My tree. Decurait it with Penny. No change in rooteen til today.”_ He looked to his son and placed a hand on his shoulder. “We can build a new tradition.” He told him, and Jasper looked up at him, confused. “Phoenix might not be here right now, because they’re helping Papa with the _big_ Christmas tree. But…I can help decorate your tree with you?” John suggested, waiting for an answer. Surprisingly, Jasper flung himself at John in a tight hug, nodding. John smiled and cuddled him back, placing a soft kiss on his son’s hair.

Keeping Jasper in his lap, and following his guide, he helped to string the ornaments on to the plastic branches, and he watched Jasper stim happily, knowing he wasn’t going to do it alone this year. He spoke softly and calmly to him, letting Jasper put the ornaments he wanted to on his tree, and he clapped loudly when they were done. John smiled and cuddled Jasper closer to him. “You did a real good job, son.” He told him, and Jasper squeaked happily, hugging John once more. “Shall we put your tree on top of your dresser? Then it won’t get damaged.” Jasper nodded and turned back to the tree, lifting it up. He climbed out of John’s lap, and with a slight huff, managed to get it on top.

“Good job!” John beamed and crouched back down, Jasper running back into his arms. John lifted him up, standing once again, holding him close, looking to the door to see Xander there. “How long have you been there?” John asked, walking towards him, shutting Jasper’s bedroom door as Jasper squirmed slightly in his arms, making himself comfortable.

“Long enough to see you’re an amazing dad.” Xander leaned forward, kissing John softly, John returning the sentimental act. Xander looked down to his son next and crouched down slightly. “You had fun decorating with dad?” Jasper nodded and buried into John’s chest, John patting his back gently.

“Are you and Phoenix done?”

“We just need someone to do the star. Then we’re done.” He said and looked back to Jasper. “Hey little buddy. Phoenix wanted to know if you wanted to go put the star on the top of the big tree?” Jasper looked up to John for approvement, and the general nodded. Jasper turned back to Xander and nodded, John smiling.

“Let’s go do that. Together.” John said and kissed Xander again, walking back into the living room, looking at the tree. “You’ve both done incredible jobs,” he said, planting a kiss on Phoenix’s head, causing them to look up.

“Oh, thanks dad!” They said and looked to their brother. “You gonna put the star on top?”

Jasper nodded, and Phoenix handed it to him. He squirmed excitedly and John lifted him up, watching as Jasper put the star on the top of the tree. As soon as he did, John pulled him back down and kissed his forehead. “That’s my boy!”

* * *

The next week, Christmas came. Christmas Eve came first, and they had their family photo taken around the tree, some of them being natural, some of them goofy. In all fairness, Xander had started the goofiness of the photos, and it had escalated from there on out. They managed to get the kids to bed and John and Xander found themselves with taking piles of presents downstairs in the bags. John looked at Xander and smiled. “Ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he said and kissed John’s forehead. It took them about half an hour to get the bags downstairs, and after ensuring that Jasper was asleep, John put some of Jasper’s stocking gifts under his little tree in his room. Afterwards, he collapsed on the bed beside Xander, who was waiting for him with open arms. “You’ve done well.”

“So have you,” John said, taking to bury into Xander’s neck. He checked the time on his watch and smiled softly. “Midnight. Merry Christmas, Xander.”

“Merry Christmas, John.” Xander cupped John’s cheek as John moved away slightly, kissing him gently. John kissed him back, entangling their legs together, and in a slight moved, managed to get Xander on top of him somehow. When they pulled away, John laughed and looked at him.

“Why do we always end up like this?” He asked quietly, and Xander shrugged.

“It’s just us, isn’t it?” He asked, and John shrugged. “So….?”

“Are you implying that we- _seriously_?!”

“Come on, John. We don’t have time with each other anymore. Hardly.”

John rolled his eyes but wrapped his arms around Xander’s shoulders. “Twenty minutes. You have twenty minutes, and then I’m going to sleep.” Immediately, Xander took to kissing John’s neck, moving his hair out of the way for better access, and John shifted so he could get to the skin better. “This is my Christmas present from me to you. Merry Christmas, babe.”

“I think I can take this as a win.” He said and smiled, bending John’s leg up.

The twenty minutes passed, and John changed quicker than he probably should have while Xander lay there, breathless. John checked his neck in the mirror, gently punching his arm. “Asshole.”

“Oh, come on. You let me do it.” Xander said and, shirtless, looked at his husband through half opened eyes.

“Yeah, but I didn’t realise you were going _that_ dark.” He tutted and got back under the covers, buttoning up his shirt. He accepted the offer of Xander’s open arms and nuzzled back into his neck, pulling the covers right over his shoulders. “I love you, though.”

“I love you too,” Xander said quietly, kissing his forehead. “Now get some rest. We’ll be lucky if we get four hours sleep tonight.”

* * *

They got six hours sleep. Some time after 6, Jasper came bounding into the bedroom and jumped on John, climbing under the covers, sandwiching himself between Xander and John. John shifted and opened his eyes, looking at his watch. He yawned and looked down to Jasper. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart.” Jasper squeaked and forced a small toy in front of John’s eyes, and John nodded. “You like your toy?” Jasper squeaked again, nodding as he lay against John’s chest. “Is Phoenix awake?” Again, another squeak and a nod. The small boy laughed, and John furrowed his eyebrows until the door was kicked open and Mariah Carey’s _All I Want For Christmas_ started blaring on a speaker, the lights switching on. John shielded his eyes, and Xander woke uncomfortably. “Oh my god…”

“MERRY CHRISTMAS MOTHERFUCKER!” Louisiana Hartford shouted complete with Benny Slate singing along, very obnoxiously to the lyrics from the lower level of the house, and a familiar laugh of George Slate, his brother, followed.

“And Merry Christmas to you…” John winced as he pushed himself to sit up, supporting Jasper up as he sat. He looked to Xander and watched as he woke. “Welcome to Earth.”

“Thanks, dickhead.” Xander’s reply came, his voice croaking and hoarse, and Jasper laughed.

“Jesus, John. What kind of mosquito attacked your neck last night?” Lou asked as she turned the volume down on the speaker.

“What did I tell you, Xander? It’s noticeable.”

“Ha! Dadfucker!” Phoenix shouted from the door, appearing beside Lou, who laughed loudly. “Come on, old men! Get your homosexual _butts_ downstairs!” She said before racing back down with Lou to re-join with Benny and George.

“Did Phoenix let them in? Or did they break in?” John asked, pulling the covers of his husband, who rolled over and sighed.

“Who cares…”

“Either way, I’ve got some very excited kids downstairs and I _did_ promise them we’d be up bright and early.” He leaned down and placed a kiss on Xander’s hair. “I love you, Firefly.”

“I love you too…” Xander yawned, feeling a smaller kiss on the back of his head. He turned his head and saw Jasper grinning. Xander managed to put on a tired smile and forced himself to sit up. He grabbed his dressing gown from the floor beside him and put it on quickly, before standing. “Let’s go, Mr McNamara.”

“McNamara- _Lee,_ thank you.” John said and smiled as he carried Jasper downstairs.

Once everyone was seated down at their piles of presents, Jasper sitting closer to Xander, Lou sitting by John, John and Xander on the couch, Benny by Lou, Lou by George, George by Phoenix and Phoenix by their brother, it all worked out. They’d decided for Lou and Benny to spend Christmas with them that year due to the event that John knew they didn’t have parents, and they’d all had a significant bond to one another. They didn’t mind having a few extra guests after all.

They went round in the circle, opening the presents accordingly, and that plan seemed to work. Xander and George were on trash bag duty, and they had the occasional coffee break, but aside from that, things ran smoothly.

At the end of it, Jasper was covered in glitter (he didn’t mind) and had his new blanket draped over his shoulder. He was already busy sorting out his presents into bags, and John and Xander helped Lou and Phoenix sort theirs out. The plan was that Lou, Benny and George would stay over the festive period until the first week of January when everyone would be returning to PEIP. They _were_ family, after all. So, John and Xander helped to carry their things to George’s car, and the things that didn’t fit would go back the week after.

However, the excitement did wear off fairly quickly for John, and he did warn the others that he’d most likely retire back to bed for a nap before dinner. With George helping Jasper with his toys, and Lou and Benny helping Phoenix with whatever they needed assistance with, John collapsed back into bed, drawing the curtains, sighing once he was under the warmth of the duvet. Not even minutes later did the lights flick back on again, the door shutting. “Xander, babe, I love you, but I might have to murder you if-“

“I got you another gift. I didn’t want to give it to you in front of everyone.” He said and sat on the edge of the bed. “Before you ask, I’ve had this for a good few years at this point. And I was thinking, it might help with your PTSD….” He said and passed the gift over to John.

John took it, unwrapping the present, and when he saw the familiar green fur, his heart stopped. “Xander-“ he said, his breath hitching, and Xander placed his hand in John’s.

“You haven’t seen the full thing…I promise I wouldn’t get you anything that’d trigger your PTSD. I wouldn’t.” He gently helped John to sit up. John leaned against Xander as he pulled the rest of the gifts out of the paper.

“Oop- there’s a lot more than one thing in here-“

“I know, babe.”

John looked at the doll in front of him. The familiar green doll with the tentacles and bright blue eyes was staring at him. John turned it over in his hands, biting his lip, before realising what was on the doll’s body, and he burst out laughing. “Xander- Xander what the _fuck?!”_

Xander smiled and looked at him. “You know it’s Wiggly’s birthday today?”

“So why is he in _lingerie?!”_

“Why? Do you not love your widdle fwendy-wend?” He asked and moved closer to John, and John laughed harder.

“I hate you- I hate you so much-“ He said as he looked down to the doll. “What is this? A trophy to show I beat The Black and White?”

“Yes. You came back from The Black and White, and in return, you get Wiggly wearing lingerie.”

“I genuinely hate you.” John wiped his eyes, tears of joy filling them as Xander lifted up the other things.

“Look! I even got custom wiggly outfits for the cats!”

“I hate you even more.” He said and looked at them. “Imagine Blimmy jumping on you in the middle of the night and he’s got tentacles, that’s nightmare fuel!”

“I think Wiggly wearing lingerie was nightmare fuel, but you ended up laughing about it.” He said and kissed his cheek. “Do you wuv him?”

“Shut up.”

“Do you wuv _me?”_

“We are never having sex again.” John said and nudged him harder, opening the drawer, placing the doll in it. “Now, I am going to sleep. Wake me if I’m _actually_ needed, dumbass.”

“I love you too.” Xander stood and flicked off the light before climbing under the covers once more, wrapping his arms around John so they were spooning. “Sleep well, baby.”

Overall, at the end of the day, with the kids covered in snow, and their hearts full, they declared it a successful Christmas, even if John did want to light the Wiggly on fire arsonist style. 

**Author's Note:**

> so that happened
> 
> kudos and comments appreciated! !! but be respectful!! also ani slaps shut the fuck up


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